I’ve had kind of a rough week. Every week has its ups and downs (every day does, really), but this one felt especially hard. I survived it, though, and along the way I’ve learned a few things. These are things that I knew before, but didn’t really know before, ya know? They seem to make sense now. They seem to be more than just words.
You don’t have to feel bad about crying because someone is “not worth your tears.”
To start with, you’re worth your tears. These are your feelings, you’re the one who’s hurt, and you’re allowed to cry because you’re sad. I know it’s supposed to make people feel better, but labeling people or things as “not worth your tears” isn’t always that helpful. If you’re sad, you don’t need to be told that what’s making you sad isn’t worth being sad about. You are allowed to be sad and then cry because you’re sad.
There’s a difference between a friend being honest with you and a “friend” being “honest with you.”
A good friend will be honest but still supportive and helpful. A “friend” will use your struggle as a chance to say mean things under the guise of “being honest.” There is a difference between Tough Love and Just Being Honest, and you can feel it. Tough Love can sting but makes you think and helps you grow. Just Being Honest hurts and makes you doubt yourself even more.
If someone “saw something coming” and you didn’t, maybe you just had different vantage points.
If you’re facing another person and you get hit in the back of the head with a flying object, it’s really easy for them to say they saw it coming! I’m finding the same thing to be true in life. Sometimes you’re just not looking at the same information another person is looking at, and not seeing what they saw doesn’t make you stupid.